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the_old_guardTitle: Homeward Bound
Pairing: none, Nile-centric
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 800 words
Warnings: none
Summary: Nile almost leaves them when Andy pulls up to a safe house outside of Grantchester in Cambridge.
Nile almost leaves them when Andy pulls up to a safe house outside of Grantchester in Cambridge. It's right after Merrick, after they've left Booker standing by himself at the watersedge, his back to them as he waited for them to leave. She imagines how much it would hurt to be so alone in the world, thinks of her mom and brother, about her dad.
He taught her to swim in the mornings, down by the public pool in Chicago. Nile remembers how the sun would heat the metal handrails of the stairs by the side of the pool, how she'd always walk down the steps, even when her dad told her it was safe to jump in. Ever so careful, she'd walk down until the water hit her chest, always waiting for her dad to come get her, going when he did.
She remembers sitting at the edge of the pool afterward, watching mesmerized as her dad swam laps from one end to the other. Swimming was second nature to him. It was obvious in the way his limbs broke the water's surface, in the easy back and forth along the pool, the way he'd always check on her every third lap. He never broke his form even when he looked at her. Watching him, she used to think he was part merman, that he needed the water to be able to laugh so openly, to live so freely.
She remembers asking if he drowned when her mom told her he wouldn't be coming back. She'll never forget the way her mother's eyes filled with tears, that shaky inhale as her mother tried to keep it together.
She thinks of Booker by himself, of a Rodin hanging out in a cave, half-covered with a white sheet. She remembers thinking of preservation methods and air-tight rooms, how she looked at the rest of the space, the knick knacks and swords tossed into the corners. She understood that she was seeing a home, that there were memories scattered over the mine walls, that those were the things Andy wanted to keep after all her years alive.
She remembers sparing one last mournful look at the Rodin, how she turned to Andy and Booker, how her first thought was that they were letting her see their things, letting her into their lives.
"Nice place," she said.
And the way Andy smiled, that uninhibited happiness as she took in her treasures, warms Nile even now.
She turns to look back at the safe house behind her, the white wooden doors that keep her out for the moment. She thinks of the promise she made to Andy in the penthouse of Merrick Pharmaceuticals, how they'd be there for her now that she was mortal. She thinks of Booker, the small smile and the shake of his head as Nile pressed her cellphone into his hands.
"You can give it back when we see you again," she told him.
He understood that she meant she wouldn't leave him, that the first opportunity she got, she'd find a way to call him. But Grantchester is a rolling field of endless green broken up by water. And Nile, for all that she made promises, has not been able to feel at home near water since her father died.
She could go, she thinks, turning back to watch the sun hit the lake in the distance. She could find her brother, look up where he went to college. She's his older sister, the only person he'll have left when her mother goes.
As she stands outside of the safe house, her eyes on the trees in the distance, she knows that means she can't stay. She doesn't expect Andy to understand, doesn't think that Nicky and Joe would get it either. But she doesn't blame any of them. They're from a different time. They wouldn't know what binds Niles to her family, the things she would do for her brother and the things her brother would do for her.
If she told him, he'd keep her secret.
But she thinks of Booker again, of the way he looked at them in the bar, and said, "I just want to see my sons again."
She takes a deep breath and thinks of the things desperate people do, of Merrick and how he hurt Joe and Nicky, the things someone else like Merrick could do to her family, to all of them. She thinks of metal tables and Keaton and guns, of blood splattered across white walls, and the crunch of bones against metal.
And just like she did when she found out her father died, she takes everything she feels and pushes it deep down where it can't hurt her.
Then, she turns, and with one last look at the rolling wet fields, she makes her way back.
Pairing: none, Nile-centric
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 800 words
Warnings: none
Summary: Nile almost leaves them when Andy pulls up to a safe house outside of Grantchester in Cambridge.
Nile almost leaves them when Andy pulls up to a safe house outside of Grantchester in Cambridge. It's right after Merrick, after they've left Booker standing by himself at the watersedge, his back to them as he waited for them to leave. She imagines how much it would hurt to be so alone in the world, thinks of her mom and brother, about her dad.
He taught her to swim in the mornings, down by the public pool in Chicago. Nile remembers how the sun would heat the metal handrails of the stairs by the side of the pool, how she'd always walk down the steps, even when her dad told her it was safe to jump in. Ever so careful, she'd walk down until the water hit her chest, always waiting for her dad to come get her, going when he did.
She remembers sitting at the edge of the pool afterward, watching mesmerized as her dad swam laps from one end to the other. Swimming was second nature to him. It was obvious in the way his limbs broke the water's surface, in the easy back and forth along the pool, the way he'd always check on her every third lap. He never broke his form even when he looked at her. Watching him, she used to think he was part merman, that he needed the water to be able to laugh so openly, to live so freely.
She remembers asking if he drowned when her mom told her he wouldn't be coming back. She'll never forget the way her mother's eyes filled with tears, that shaky inhale as her mother tried to keep it together.
She thinks of Booker by himself, of a Rodin hanging out in a cave, half-covered with a white sheet. She remembers thinking of preservation methods and air-tight rooms, how she looked at the rest of the space, the knick knacks and swords tossed into the corners. She understood that she was seeing a home, that there were memories scattered over the mine walls, that those were the things Andy wanted to keep after all her years alive.
She remembers sparing one last mournful look at the Rodin, how she turned to Andy and Booker, how her first thought was that they were letting her see their things, letting her into their lives.
"Nice place," she said.
And the way Andy smiled, that uninhibited happiness as she took in her treasures, warms Nile even now.
She turns to look back at the safe house behind her, the white wooden doors that keep her out for the moment. She thinks of the promise she made to Andy in the penthouse of Merrick Pharmaceuticals, how they'd be there for her now that she was mortal. She thinks of Booker, the small smile and the shake of his head as Nile pressed her cellphone into his hands.
"You can give it back when we see you again," she told him.
He understood that she meant she wouldn't leave him, that the first opportunity she got, she'd find a way to call him. But Grantchester is a rolling field of endless green broken up by water. And Nile, for all that she made promises, has not been able to feel at home near water since her father died.
She could go, she thinks, turning back to watch the sun hit the lake in the distance. She could find her brother, look up where he went to college. She's his older sister, the only person he'll have left when her mother goes.
As she stands outside of the safe house, her eyes on the trees in the distance, she knows that means she can't stay. She doesn't expect Andy to understand, doesn't think that Nicky and Joe would get it either. But she doesn't blame any of them. They're from a different time. They wouldn't know what binds Niles to her family, the things she would do for her brother and the things her brother would do for her.
If she told him, he'd keep her secret.
But she thinks of Booker again, of the way he looked at them in the bar, and said, "I just want to see my sons again."
She takes a deep breath and thinks of the things desperate people do, of Merrick and how he hurt Joe and Nicky, the things someone else like Merrick could do to her family, to all of them. She thinks of metal tables and Keaton and guns, of blood splattered across white walls, and the crunch of bones against metal.
And just like she did when she found out her father died, she takes everything she feels and pushes it deep down where it can't hurt her.
Then, she turns, and with one last look at the rolling wet fields, she makes her way back.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-11 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-11 09:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-12 01:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-13 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-13 02:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-13 03:00 am (UTC)Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Date: 2020-12-15 12:37 am (UTC)Beautiful study of Nile's mindset. I love how much more forgiving she is with Booker, whether he deserves it or not.
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Date: 2020-12-22 05:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-24 01:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-24 01:22 am (UTC)